#10 A simple little idea to try

Can you coexist with you?

I sat in meditation last week, being guided by someone else, which felt like a gorgeous gift. I didn’t know how long the sit would be — it was an invitation that appeared in my inbox that I quickly said yes to. It was a 45-minute sit — another gorgeous gift. 

I squirmed for the first 10 minutes or so. Mind flitting and fluttering, bird-like, jumpy. Wondering how long the sit would be. Wondering if I could ever stop planning, planning, planning. Resisting, resisting, resisting. I labelled dutifully and tried to have mercy on myself. Hoping I would just settle and drop in for God’s sake.

And then, the teacher said the thing that has stuck with me since: He talked about this little space of time as “coexisting with ourselves.” Ahhh, the words landed. Finally, I internally settled a bit, feeling that soft place to land within.

What a concept, I thought — How do teachers put to words these things that we feel and live and have never articulated before? Thank you, thank you, thank you to all the teachers who offer themselves so generously without even knowing how they are received.

Coexisting, coexisting, coexisting. It evoked the coziest feelings within. Of being with myself. Of being my own friend. My own company. Of being OK with myself, however I was showing up. Sometimes when I’m meditating visuals come sharply into focus, and when he talked about co-existence, the leaves of a luscious green Monstera plant appeared.

You know that old adage, “You can’t love someone else until you love yourself first?” I was single until I was 36 years old and if one more person said this to me in earnest, there might have been a homicide.

No one ever told me to simply learn how to co-exist with myself. Because when I am at my best as a friend, a lover, a partner, a daughter, it’s when I can coexist with the other person. Peacefully witnessing, holding what needs to be held for them, or delighting in their silliness.

There is so much sickness in the world and, these days, we witness it in real time, all the time. It’s brutal. I feel more powerless than I’d like to admit.

When will humans learn to better co-exist with each other? Do you feel like I do — that it begins by coexising with ourselves? By remembering to take just a tiny eep of time during the day or the week to get quiet and be our own companion, watching, witness, accepting, and holding?

Do you believe, as I do, that these practices can be radical acts if we imbue them with this meaning? 

(This month I have donated the proceeds from this Substack to Glennon Doyle’s organization, Together Rising. They are currently raising funds to support American Near East Refugee Aid (ANERA) and Middle East Children’s Alliance (MECA). There are 135 of you who are paid subscribers. Thank you for your continued support. ❤️)

In other news: Yogaland is back for a new season! I’m truly excited for this season, which will feature smarty-pants yet humble guests like Jivana Heyman & Brett Larkin, along with a focus on two non-profit organizations that are inspiring me (Yoga Reaches Out & Canine Inspired Change), and so much more (shhh…Judith Lasater might be making another appearance to talk menopause 🙌)

Here are the first two episodes of the season, in case you missed them:

Alsooooo, I was a guest on the very fun podcast, A Funny Thing About Yoga with Gianna Gambino and Bradshaw Wish. It was such a treat to loosen up with them and to celebrate their first anniversary of podcasting!! (This is a no small feat and I will do everything in my power to support you all out there doing your thing, expressing yourselves, and sharing yoga in a way that feels authentic to YOU.)

We covered a lot of ground, including how my macro and micro approach to podcasting has changed over the years, if Jason and I actually have work/relationship balance, and how his Midwestern family helps him keep it real by barely acknowledging his career. 😜

Gianna also has a Substack, which you can subscribe to here.

I want you all to know how much I love you with my whole heart. I hope you take some time to check in with yourself and reset today, however that looks.