It's me, hi.

And it's been awhile.

I mean, it’s not really true that it’s been awhile. I’ve published my (nearly) weekly podcast, Yogaland, for almost 8(?!?) years now. Almost 300 episodes. It’s hard to believe that a little personal project I started as I was recovering from breast cancer has turned into a centerpiece of my work life.

And. But. I (finally) miss writing. I started the podcast when I was oooooovvvvverrrr it. Over the torture of writing. The wrestling match my brain had to go through each time I wrote a piece, even if it was just 200 words long.

The thinky-ness of it. Having a two-year old, two breast surgeries, medication brain fog, and radiation meant stringing together cogent thoughts was too heavy a load.

I was tired of the editors who wanted snappy subheadings for names of the most basic of movements — but, plot twist, not too snappy, ya silly goose!

I was also tired of how much I hid with my writing. All of the time spent pruning and overthinking every word so that I would come across a certain way. It was never intentional, always simmering beneath the surface, but the fear made me feel, at times, like I was play-acting.

For a time I blamed it on the fact that I worked for a big publication (Yoga Journal for those who don’t know), but now that I’ve done the podcast on my own for years I can see that it’s me. Hi, I’m the problem it’s me.

Because I notice that inner self-consciousness creeping into the podcast, too. As it gets bigger, I worry more about being seen. How I’m perceived. My mind goes through mental gymnastics — Will people think I’m nice and contained and calm all the time if I present too many meditations? Am I still being real? Being too real? Saying too much about myself? Not sharing enough?

I’ve been stewing on this for awhile, trying to figure out a new creative project that will help me get my less inhibited mojo back.

It wasn’t until I leaned into substack that it clicked — this is a place where I can write (and hopefully you will subscribe) and I won’t feel like I am oversharing with the world.

This is also a place where I can build community — and follow-up with the community I’ve built b/c I really, really miss you! — without having to “go live.” I don’t wanna go live (she says whining and stamping her foot like a 4-year-old.) I just don’t.

But here I can start chat threads with you and you can chat back. You can ask me questions and I can write answers.

So. I’m excited. Welcome to my substack! It’s a blog, it’s a community, it’s a lifestyle (she says with jazz hands. Kidding about the lifestyle part.)

I don’t want to overcommit to a teeny tiny editorial scope. It’s going to be ideas I feel are worth sharing about motherhood, parenting, midlife, neurodiversity, yoga and mindfulness, maintaining mental and physical health. Loving the life we’ve got and the one we create.

Also, I will most definitely be adding thoughts/research/behind-the-scenes about podcast episodes here. There is always so much that goes into each episode that I wish I had a place for.

My husband thinks I am crazy for doing this. I think I am, too. We have a whole family of newsletters already and who am I to confuse you all? But I think of this less as opting into (yet another) newsletter and more of wanting to get longer-form content from me on a regular basis.

He also thought I was crazy for starting the podcast and…6 million downloads later he doesn’t think it’s so crazy 😬

Here’s the bottom line: This is an experiment that I’m committing to for a year. I would LOVE it if you’d join me. I’d also love it if you’d consider subscribing because, like all of us, I like to get paid for my work. It’s that simple. Plus, I’ll make it worth your while.

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