It was a better day today. I have trusted that things would ebb and flow, but still it feels good to say it was a much better day. Do you ever go through hard times and then a good day, but you feel like you can’t trust that good day? You’re still waiting for the other shoe to drop? In the past, my anxiety meant that I would hold onto the problem so tightly even when there were moments of fresh air. I suppose I feared that moment when the unresolved problem inevitably cropped up again. In a few days? A few hours? It was too scary to take in those pockets of peace.
It’s a practice for me and one that I’m practicing today. Just taking in that it’s good right now. All we know is this moment and all that jazz 🤗
Also, wanted to say thank you to you all. I mean, SERIOUSLY, thank you. Your messages of love and support mean so much right now. I read every comment and took it in (usually crying as I did it), but…it was just extremely powerful to feel so much support. I used to isolate myself when I struggled. That never led anywhere good. I try not to do that anymore and I’m happy to report it feels much better. It’s worth any moments of embarrassment about the vulnerability.
Here’s a story that might make you laugh. I live in a small gated community in Southern Cal. It feels a bit like the 70s or 80s around here — kids ride their bikes freely and play in the park. Parents stand at the edge of their driveway and chat. We still don’t know a lot of people, but everyone’s friendly.
A few days ago I remembered that I’d met a mom in the neighborhood two years ago who mentioned that her daughter went to a one-on-one school. So, without stopping myself, I put on my slides and walked around the corner to her house. She was relaxing on her front porch eating a salad, with her Great Dane at her feet.
The poor woman! I walked right up to her, re-introduced myself and choked out the reason for my visit — wanting to ask about the school. The immediate look of recognition on her face made me burst into tears. She said, “I have goosebumps. I know what you’re going through.”
She went in the house and came out with a La Croix and some toilet paper to blow my nose. And she helped me get through the rest of that day.
I’ve learned that people are so kind when you open up. It’s hard, but it’s worth it.
Thank you for being such a true blue community. Thank you for your incredible kindness.
Love,
a
I’ve been thinking of you and praying for you since your post yesterday. It’s wonderful to hear that your neighbor was a blessing to you (and well done you for allowing the tumblers to click to allow her to be a part of your journey). I am so grateful to my yoga practice and my personal faith life to support me when life turns on a dime (and sometimes smacks us in the kisser). You prioritizing your kiddo is such an act of selfless service, what a beautiful testimony to the sufferings and joys of motherhood. We often do have to pause ourselves to channel our limited energy to our offspring, and it’s a hard choice. You sharing your hard choices with your community helps us to feel emboldened for our own families when the time calls for it. Thank you Andrea, for your vulnerability and courageous parenting. May the path forward be clearly revealed and may the helpers you need continue to materialize along the way. 🙏🏻💜
I’m glad today is better! Such a good example of the transitory nature of our feelings about a situation. Im proud of you for reaching out for support. We women (me included) need more examples of others who show bravery and vulnerability when things are hard. We gen X ladies have been pretty conditioned to believe that we can do it ourselves. 💕