I find it superficially easy to get deep for a vibe or two or three, before the egoistic thoughts flood back in. I amuse myself trying to get deeper than that, truly beyond the ephemeral identity. How low can you go?
To me this “Who am I?” question is a grapple with the most essential “spiritual” question. Who are we beyond these frail identities?
One thing I recalled during this practice today was a quip that was in a jokey email years ago entitled “The Wisdom of the Jewish Buddha”: “If there is no self, whose rheumatism is this?” This has always stuck with me and, because last week I had shoulder replacement surgery due to arthritis, I laughed at the aptness of it. If there’s no self, whose new shoulder is this, and who’s paying for it?
Anyway good luck to all of us on this quest where we have to engage with this question, because from what I’ve seen it requires so much courage, there’s no two ways about it.
It's a pretty ephemeral practice for me, too. But in those moments it sure does feel like a relief to remember I'm more than just my rheumatism! And then again, isn't it also pretty great that the you that is here right now gets a new shoulder?!
I hope the recovery goes well. My MIL is going in for that surgery in January after have two successful knee replacements in the past.
I did this meditation on a Sunday night, which historically can be rough for me. Something about the repetition of life makes me feel agitated. When I asked the question "who am I?" initially the answers were feelings. "I'm a person who feels afraid that..." Followed by so many things! With the state of the world currently, I feel an undercurrent of fear, deep sadness, and powerlessness, like a swelling river within that sometimes rises so much that it breaks through the surface. I know I can be doing more and need to take a step in that direction for the purely selfish reason that it'll make me feel better, but it also requires interface with the very things that terrify me. The two most important things I've learned from meditation is that I am not my feelings and also that I can hold all my feelings. I only sat for 5 minutes and it was all I needed. By the end I had landed in neutrality (another recent discovery of meditation, that I don't need to feel good or bad but that there's a middle feeling of neutral- thanks, Andrea!) I guess I got there not by answering the question "who am I?" but answering the question "who am I not?" (Is this cheating? I feel like I'm good at cheating in meditation sometimes. But I also think there's probably no such thing as cheating in meditation.) I ended up at the conclusion that if the feelings aren't me and also aren't helping me take active steps towards becoming more me, then perhaps I can hold them without identifying with them and choose neutral while I take baby steps towards what's right. I'll be returning to this meditation. Thanks!!
Definitely not cheating! I’ve been cued to ask the opposite as well! Thanks for sharing this Nancy! I find it really interesting to hear other people’s meditation experiences.
Thank you for this meditation, Andrea. I find that it can give us a new perspective on what is going on in our lives. I often use a version of it in my classes during Savasana, when the body and mind are ready to be more receptive and less busy.
I find it superficially easy to get deep for a vibe or two or three, before the egoistic thoughts flood back in. I amuse myself trying to get deeper than that, truly beyond the ephemeral identity. How low can you go?
To me this “Who am I?” question is a grapple with the most essential “spiritual” question. Who are we beyond these frail identities?
One thing I recalled during this practice today was a quip that was in a jokey email years ago entitled “The Wisdom of the Jewish Buddha”: “If there is no self, whose rheumatism is this?” This has always stuck with me and, because last week I had shoulder replacement surgery due to arthritis, I laughed at the aptness of it. If there’s no self, whose new shoulder is this, and who’s paying for it?
Anyway good luck to all of us on this quest where we have to engage with this question, because from what I’ve seen it requires so much courage, there’s no two ways about it.
It's a pretty ephemeral practice for me, too. But in those moments it sure does feel like a relief to remember I'm more than just my rheumatism! And then again, isn't it also pretty great that the you that is here right now gets a new shoulder?!
I hope the recovery goes well. My MIL is going in for that surgery in January after have two successful knee replacements in the past.
I did this meditation on a Sunday night, which historically can be rough for me. Something about the repetition of life makes me feel agitated. When I asked the question "who am I?" initially the answers were feelings. "I'm a person who feels afraid that..." Followed by so many things! With the state of the world currently, I feel an undercurrent of fear, deep sadness, and powerlessness, like a swelling river within that sometimes rises so much that it breaks through the surface. I know I can be doing more and need to take a step in that direction for the purely selfish reason that it'll make me feel better, but it also requires interface with the very things that terrify me. The two most important things I've learned from meditation is that I am not my feelings and also that I can hold all my feelings. I only sat for 5 minutes and it was all I needed. By the end I had landed in neutrality (another recent discovery of meditation, that I don't need to feel good or bad but that there's a middle feeling of neutral- thanks, Andrea!) I guess I got there not by answering the question "who am I?" but answering the question "who am I not?" (Is this cheating? I feel like I'm good at cheating in meditation sometimes. But I also think there's probably no such thing as cheating in meditation.) I ended up at the conclusion that if the feelings aren't me and also aren't helping me take active steps towards becoming more me, then perhaps I can hold them without identifying with them and choose neutral while I take baby steps towards what's right. I'll be returning to this meditation. Thanks!!
Definitely not cheating! I’ve been cued to ask the opposite as well! Thanks for sharing this Nancy! I find it really interesting to hear other people’s meditation experiences.
Thank you for this meditation, Andrea. I find that it can give us a new perspective on what is going on in our lives. I often use a version of it in my classes during Savasana, when the body and mind are ready to be more receptive and less busy.
Sitting here massaging my head with all the things going on in there... I am going to try this. Thank you 🌻
This is really great. So many things can come up in our lives that can make life seem overwhelming. this is extremely grounding.
Loved this
Thanks Sarah 💘🥰